follies of my younger years

Spurgeon on Psalm 25-7:

Verse 7. Remember not the sins of my youth. Sin is the stumbling block. This is the thing to be removed. Lord, pass an act of oblivion for all my sins, and especially for the hot blooded wanton follies of my younger years. Those offences which we remember with repentance God forgets, but if we forget them, justice will bring them forth to punishment. The world winks at the sins of younger men, and yet they are none so little after all; the bones of our youthful feastings at Satan's table will stick painfully in our throats when we are old men. He who presumes upon his youth is poisoning his old age. How large a tear may wet this page as some of us reflect upon the past!

-
When I started working in Bangalore I had a preacher son as roommate. He used to repent for his sins at college. All others in the room used to make fun of him by asking what petty sins he had done. We considered those as no sins.

Where as I was the opposite. My sins were big and I wanted to cover it. There was college mate of mine at work. He was from Electronics and communication branch and I think he was one of the top students in class. I was very nice to him so that he will not tell. Then I wanted to out-perform him in work so that even if he says, people will think it is out of jealousy. what a folly. what a folly. what a folly.

If I had repented then, life would have been very different. Pride settled in me well when head of the company said, 'you need to have fun as Samuel did in college and perform as good as him in work'. I don't know how much he meant, but that killed me. I started to live a bigger sin life with full of pride.

I was and am a fool. But used to think very high of myself. Then out of Sovereign Grace, God introduced some people in my life. They constantly pour out insults at me so that I don't get those pride again. I still hangout with them because they keep me on check. b.t.w :- If you are one of them reading this, I am not talking about you.

I have a great life now. I think low of myself most of the time and look for God's mercy and grace to feel if I have anything in me.

finally:- I hear me when reading Spurgeon on this - How large a tear may wet this page as some of us reflect upon the past!